It started with baked beans on the floor. I should have guessed then that all was not as it should be. A slip of hand, overcooked eggs and wham! That nice tomato sauce and bean mix plastered across the kitchen floor. The question should have been asked this morning of either to return to bed from which I came or to skip eight or nine hours and jump to 5pm. Mmmm, decisions! To rewind or fast forward that is the question.
I am weary. In the last 48 hours I have felt this dreaded flu starting to take hold. It has danced around for a few weeks now teasing me with the welcome sound of the nasal salute each morning and the sore throat. The men in the house have had their turn and now it appears to be mine. The housework continues to mount and I cannot face it. The in-tray in the office is now starting to compete with the Q1 building on the Gold Coast and I struggle to stay focused and interested in what lies before me. Meetings, phone calls and school holidays all beg for a moment of my time. Moments that I would rather spend curled up amongst fluffy doonas and a soft pillow. Why is it that everything seems to snowball at the same time. Why can't we have a easy to manage, one thing at a time lifestyle where we can think clearly, respond as necessary and move on.
There is one though who soldiered on regardless of the mounting pressures and weariness. He walked miles, spoke with many, cared to thousands and gave his time and energy so freely so that we could all benefit for generations to come. Christ then went on to pay the ultimate price. To be ridiculed and scorned by a world that did not understand (or chose not to) the grace, mercy and love that he came to share. He never turned away from the sick or poor instead he welcomed them. No matter the cost, no matter the price - the lowest of the low were worth his time.
Perhaps the actions of this one man is the inspiration that I need to continue on. To face the next few days with a postiive, don't give up, attitude. He didn't, instead he faced his battles head on, took charge and led his followers through those troubled times. He even stayed strong to the point of death and faced it with such incredible strength and courage knowing the pain that would lie ahead. He endured the agony of the cross so we could enjoy the glory of life thereafter. Suddenly my flu seems like nothing. My weariness may pass and I can choose to put my feet up but he found no rest in those last days. All I can say is thank you for an act of kindness and love that is so mind blowing that it is hard to comprehend that one man would do this for so many. Easter celebrates his life...may it be a celebration for you too.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
Friday, May 6, 2011
Dream Chaser
God must look down upon me some days shaking his head and wish he could grab me by the shoulders and say 'Wake up Girl". Have you ever had a dream that has followed you not just for days, but for years. I have and it has chased me for over 20 years. It has tempted, teased and tried my patience as I wait for the right opportunity to show itself. Will this dream ever become reality?
For me there is this desire to constantly want more than what I have. Recently this desire has returned and I am having trouble getting it out of my head. I think I have it solved, weigh up the pros and cons of the situation, make justifications and then try to feel settled about the decision. Inside there seems to be a little voice that I am having problems hearing. The voice of reason that tells me if I am on the right path. At the moment the voice seems faint or is it that I don't really want to listen to what it is saying?
I have been reading a book by Holly Wagner titled Warrior Chicks and in this book she talks about staying at your post (ouch - pinch number 1 and not what I wanted to hear.) I read my daily devotional to have the words "You have all that you want" standing out from the page (ouch - pinch number 2 and still not what I wanted to hear). This desire is so strong that I am struggling to make any decision. The old me would jump in boots and all, set unrealistic expectations about what I can cope with and then take on too much. This would be followed by collapsing in the corner in a year or two utterly exhausted. My family would bear the brunt of my stress levels and once again be wishing for a safe, exclusion zone that they could retreat to.
Sometimes we think we know what we want. Sometimes we pursue it so vigoriously that we lose sight of reality, surging forward so hard with a destroying, crushing force of a Category 5 cyclone in pursuit of dreams. It isn't always easy to appreciate what we already have. I read in a devotion recently that until we stop wanting what we don't have we cannot appreciate what we already do. These words hit home. I can take on so much however I fail to see what I already have, the gifts that I have already been given. I am blessed to have a loving husband and two gorgeous boys who I absolutely love. God has been gracious over the past few years, sparing us from devastating loss and providing so much for this family. So why do I even consider that I need more? It is time for my family to be the priority - not dream chasing. If they are the center of my world, then does it not make sense to keep things the way they are rather than throwing a grenade into the midst and be picking up pieces for years to come.
What I do need to do is to make sure that the one calling the shots is God. I need to feel in my heart that the decisions that I make line up with what God has planned for me. It means I need to listen harder for that small voice inside and block out the distractions and interference that is happening. I also need to be prepared to accept that my desires may not match up and that's okay for if I make the right decision, all will be good in the long term and that's a dream worth pursuing.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
For me there is this desire to constantly want more than what I have. Recently this desire has returned and I am having trouble getting it out of my head. I think I have it solved, weigh up the pros and cons of the situation, make justifications and then try to feel settled about the decision. Inside there seems to be a little voice that I am having problems hearing. The voice of reason that tells me if I am on the right path. At the moment the voice seems faint or is it that I don't really want to listen to what it is saying?
I have been reading a book by Holly Wagner titled Warrior Chicks and in this book she talks about staying at your post (ouch - pinch number 1 and not what I wanted to hear.) I read my daily devotional to have the words "You have all that you want" standing out from the page (ouch - pinch number 2 and still not what I wanted to hear). This desire is so strong that I am struggling to make any decision. The old me would jump in boots and all, set unrealistic expectations about what I can cope with and then take on too much. This would be followed by collapsing in the corner in a year or two utterly exhausted. My family would bear the brunt of my stress levels and once again be wishing for a safe, exclusion zone that they could retreat to.
Sometimes we think we know what we want. Sometimes we pursue it so vigoriously that we lose sight of reality, surging forward so hard with a destroying, crushing force of a Category 5 cyclone in pursuit of dreams. It isn't always easy to appreciate what we already have. I read in a devotion recently that until we stop wanting what we don't have we cannot appreciate what we already do. These words hit home. I can take on so much however I fail to see what I already have, the gifts that I have already been given. I am blessed to have a loving husband and two gorgeous boys who I absolutely love. God has been gracious over the past few years, sparing us from devastating loss and providing so much for this family. So why do I even consider that I need more? It is time for my family to be the priority - not dream chasing. If they are the center of my world, then does it not make sense to keep things the way they are rather than throwing a grenade into the midst and be picking up pieces for years to come.
What I do need to do is to make sure that the one calling the shots is God. I need to feel in my heart that the decisions that I make line up with what God has planned for me. It means I need to listen harder for that small voice inside and block out the distractions and interference that is happening. I also need to be prepared to accept that my desires may not match up and that's okay for if I make the right decision, all will be good in the long term and that's a dream worth pursuing.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
Elephants on your chest
They're back - not quite as big as before but big enough to make it uncomfortable. I am talking about the elephants that sit on my chest. The heaviness that comes and goes even to the point where I feel the need for deeper breaths. These 'elephants' as I like to call them are an indicator to me that some chill time is in order. They can come from a range of issues that have built up, stresses of work to do, worries and anxieties.
I have struggled for the eight years with these elephants. In more recent years they are not appearing as often but when they do, I know it is a sign to chill. The last few weeks have been busy with work, demands from family, tiredness, worries about children and making decisions that potentially have a huge impact on my future and that of my family.
So what to do...I could
stop work and sit on the beach (that would be so nice about now)
withdraw from the world, close the blinds and refuse to come out
eat everything in the pantry
drink alcohol to numb the stress level back into control
Some years ago, I would have (and did) chose option number four. Each night after work I could consume 4-5 glasses of wine and feel that it had made no difference at all. While I would not say I was an alcoholic, I certainly could have been heading down that path if I didn't decide that there was a better course of action. The downside of choosing this option is the next day the problems and worries still exist - the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle.
The answer is none of the above. What I need to do is to get some perspective about life. It is so easy to get caught up in the worries that you have no control over, make a mountain out of a molehill and feel like the world is caving in.
So this time, I am going to take a more healthier approach. I will go back to my mantra that all will be fine for these worries and stresses are not mine to bear. They are God's. He knows what the next days, weeks and months hold. He knows the future and he controls it. Why should I be so worried about what may or may not happens that it affects me on an emotional and physical level. God only gives us what he knows we are capable of bearing and will gladly take the burden for us if we ask him too.
What is bothering you these days? Do you have some elephants that need to join a relocation program? Take the time now to let go and let God. You will feel so much better for doing so
I have struggled for the eight years with these elephants. In more recent years they are not appearing as often but when they do, I know it is a sign to chill. The last few weeks have been busy with work, demands from family, tiredness, worries about children and making decisions that potentially have a huge impact on my future and that of my family.
So what to do...I could
stop work and sit on the beach (that would be so nice about now)
withdraw from the world, close the blinds and refuse to come out
eat everything in the pantry
drink alcohol to numb the stress level back into control
Some years ago, I would have (and did) chose option number four. Each night after work I could consume 4-5 glasses of wine and feel that it had made no difference at all. While I would not say I was an alcoholic, I certainly could have been heading down that path if I didn't decide that there was a better course of action. The downside of choosing this option is the next day the problems and worries still exist - the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle.
The answer is none of the above. What I need to do is to get some perspective about life. It is so easy to get caught up in the worries that you have no control over, make a mountain out of a molehill and feel like the world is caving in.
So this time, I am going to take a more healthier approach. I will go back to my mantra that all will be fine for these worries and stresses are not mine to bear. They are God's. He knows what the next days, weeks and months hold. He knows the future and he controls it. Why should I be so worried about what may or may not happens that it affects me on an emotional and physical level. God only gives us what he knows we are capable of bearing and will gladly take the burden for us if we ask him too.
What is bothering you these days? Do you have some elephants that need to join a relocation program? Take the time now to let go and let God. You will feel so much better for doing so
Sunday, December 5, 2010
More than just specks on this earth
Have you ever asked the question ‘what on earth am I here for?’ Each week is a blur of taxi driving, whipping up meals, washing clothes around working ‘x’ number of hours each day. One must ask if life was meant to be more than this typical humdrum that fills the hours in the day.
I stood out in the backyard the other night looking skyward. The universe is far greater than just what I can see from my backyard. As the year goes on the view changes, constellations pass overhead as skies put on a magnificent nightly display. Nothing is by chance, not even one of the stars. Each was created, crafted and placed where it is for a purpose. Life expectancy may be limited with some stars burning out and disappearing sooner than others. What about me? Am I just destined to burn out and disappear? When I go will anyone remember me or will I just be yet another person on this earth that arrived, lived and died? I am determined to be more. I may not change the world and I may die with dishpan hands but believe it or not, it won’t be in vain.
My goal is to leave a legacy to my children. To leave them with more than just memories of a mum who picked, packed and washed up. I want to leave them with the most important lesson of all - that there is more to life than meets the eye. Each of us has a journey to fulfil and whether we go on to find fame and fortune, or just live our lives from our own backyard.
Life can be an exciting journey however for me, I have found life to be sweeter when I let God take control. As much as I think I know what I want, he knows better and he does a far better job at the helm than I do. If it was left to me I would be stuck on a roundabout going around and around, trying to work out which exit to take. In the meantime, the stresses of life and general chaos would be overtaking me and I would be struggling to stay sane.
What I have learn't is that we are more than just specks on this earth and we have a choice to either make this life a life worth remembering or just to burn out and leave nothing behind. Following God doesn’t mean that we are exempt from tough times. What faith does give is a peace through those times and a comfort in knowing that someone higher up the food chain has this covered. The voyage can still be rough and then there are times when we seem to sail through but regardless, it is a ride worth hanging on for.
So as I aim to find the purpose for my life, I encourage you to do some soul searching too. Perhaps there is a magnificent adventure that is waiting for you. Perhaps you are already there. Whatever the future holds, it should be one that we look forward to with the aim of leaving something behind for others and not being just a speck that walked on the earth.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
I stood out in the backyard the other night looking skyward. The universe is far greater than just what I can see from my backyard. As the year goes on the view changes, constellations pass overhead as skies put on a magnificent nightly display. Nothing is by chance, not even one of the stars. Each was created, crafted and placed where it is for a purpose. Life expectancy may be limited with some stars burning out and disappearing sooner than others. What about me? Am I just destined to burn out and disappear? When I go will anyone remember me or will I just be yet another person on this earth that arrived, lived and died? I am determined to be more. I may not change the world and I may die with dishpan hands but believe it or not, it won’t be in vain.
My goal is to leave a legacy to my children. To leave them with more than just memories of a mum who picked, packed and washed up. I want to leave them with the most important lesson of all - that there is more to life than meets the eye. Each of us has a journey to fulfil and whether we go on to find fame and fortune, or just live our lives from our own backyard.
Life can be an exciting journey however for me, I have found life to be sweeter when I let God take control. As much as I think I know what I want, he knows better and he does a far better job at the helm than I do. If it was left to me I would be stuck on a roundabout going around and around, trying to work out which exit to take. In the meantime, the stresses of life and general chaos would be overtaking me and I would be struggling to stay sane.
What I have learn't is that we are more than just specks on this earth and we have a choice to either make this life a life worth remembering or just to burn out and leave nothing behind. Following God doesn’t mean that we are exempt from tough times. What faith does give is a peace through those times and a comfort in knowing that someone higher up the food chain has this covered. The voyage can still be rough and then there are times when we seem to sail through but regardless, it is a ride worth hanging on for.
So as I aim to find the purpose for my life, I encourage you to do some soul searching too. Perhaps there is a magnificent adventure that is waiting for you. Perhaps you are already there. Whatever the future holds, it should be one that we look forward to with the aim of leaving something behind for others and not being just a speck that walked on the earth.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Relationship Road
Do you remember your first romance? How the tide of emotions swept you up, you floated around on a high completely besotted with the one you thought you loved only to be dumped like a sack of potatoes which left you wondering what on earth had happened? Welcome to Relationship Road.
As parents we find ourselves in the same position as our parents did some twenty plus years ago. Our children are standing at the bottom of sweetheart hill and looking upwards towards the dream of a perfect relationship. One son has started the journey and it has been an uphill one for him to say the least. The climb has come as more of an emotional rollercoaster as he breezes up the hill only to be sideswiped by an out of control mini-bus that is plummeting at rapid speed back to the bottom. As he slowly gets back to his feet, we bandaid up the broken heart only to see him set off once again with stars in his eyes as yet another teenage girl cruises by, stopping to chat and offer him a shortcut to the summit.
From the outside looking in, it is obvious that the relationships are destined to fail. The expectations are unrealistic. The chances of forming a long term relationship at the age of sixteen are unlikely and the truth is that the fickle nature of teenagers will see relationships change faster than the speed of light. Within the blink of an eye the relationship will go from elation to devastation and there sitting on the side of Relationship Road, all battered and bruised, your child will dial home for you to come and collect them.
To help parents survive Relationship Road, I have prepared five tips -
1. If the relationship lasts more than 7 days, it is doing well
2. There will be more drama than in a television series
3. Prepare for more credit requests as texting will exceed 50 texts per day
4. Extracting information will be like having a tooth pulled
5. The shattered pieces will be spread across the house, the yard, the street and across town and you will pick them up
In preparation for the next Relationship Road tragedy, I have purchased a bulk buy on tissues, local emergency response crew is on alert, have registered for roadside assistance and all informants have been paid in advance. Perhaps this time, we can minimise the damage and reduce the road toll.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
As parents we find ourselves in the same position as our parents did some twenty plus years ago. Our children are standing at the bottom of sweetheart hill and looking upwards towards the dream of a perfect relationship. One son has started the journey and it has been an uphill one for him to say the least. The climb has come as more of an emotional rollercoaster as he breezes up the hill only to be sideswiped by an out of control mini-bus that is plummeting at rapid speed back to the bottom. As he slowly gets back to his feet, we bandaid up the broken heart only to see him set off once again with stars in his eyes as yet another teenage girl cruises by, stopping to chat and offer him a shortcut to the summit.
From the outside looking in, it is obvious that the relationships are destined to fail. The expectations are unrealistic. The chances of forming a long term relationship at the age of sixteen are unlikely and the truth is that the fickle nature of teenagers will see relationships change faster than the speed of light. Within the blink of an eye the relationship will go from elation to devastation and there sitting on the side of Relationship Road, all battered and bruised, your child will dial home for you to come and collect them.
To help parents survive Relationship Road, I have prepared five tips -
1. If the relationship lasts more than 7 days, it is doing well
2. There will be more drama than in a television series
3. Prepare for more credit requests as texting will exceed 50 texts per day
4. Extracting information will be like having a tooth pulled
5. The shattered pieces will be spread across the house, the yard, the street and across town and you will pick them up
In preparation for the next Relationship Road tragedy, I have purchased a bulk buy on tissues, local emergency response crew is on alert, have registered for roadside assistance and all informants have been paid in advance. Perhaps this time, we can minimise the damage and reduce the road toll.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Testosterone Tantrums
I look back at those early years and realise that the terrible twos were nothing compared to testosterone filled teenage boys. The moods and the 'I know it all attitude', are an essential part of teenage development, or so I am led to believe. Our elder son rises and greets each day with the obligatory grunt. Apparently, when children become teenagers they no longer need to communicate in English. For parents, the 'little book of grunt' would provide translation for the 'good morning' grunt from the 'don't look at me' grunt. On top of this, comes the 'feed me', 'why should I shower' and 'get off my case' grunts. No wonder, raising teenagers sees many parents seeking solitude as they try to live with and interpret teenage attitude. Teenage development involves regression back to two years of age as their vocabulary becomes limited to one syllable words. We can only hope that their vocabulary increases as quickly as the testosterone does in their bodies.
I have also noticed a definite increase in the interaction between the boys. Our household regularly reverberates with the 'that's hurting' cry from the younger son as the elder obviously has adopted one of the many World Wrestling Federation moves. It is not uncommon for the elder to deal with the younger by embracing him in a loving neck hold and dragging him off to the end of the house. I honestly think at times, that their rooms should reflect padded cells to minimise risk of damage and block the screams.
This growing interest in each other is not limited to inside the house either. It is common occurrence to walk outside to find two teenagers wrestling in the backyard. There is nothing like a little brotherly biff to clear the air. I am sure we are not the only family that takes on the role of spectators in a world of testosterone tantrums. We had hoped that the punching bag in the shed would be used for stress release. Unfortunately, the punching bag doesn't have the same appeal that hearing your sibling beg for mercy appears to have. At this rate we could invite the neighbours, charge admission and create a new sporting event.
The up side to this is that they are spending time together, even if it is while one son pins the other to the ground in an effort to expand his tastebuds. Communication between them has gone from grunting to recognisable words such as ‘stop’ and ‘get off’. This leads to hope that by the end of the year they will be back to putting full sentences together. As we move through these interesting, formative teenage years, it is all about togetherness.
I have also noticed a definite increase in the interaction between the boys. Our household regularly reverberates with the 'that's hurting' cry from the younger son as the elder obviously has adopted one of the many World Wrestling Federation moves. It is not uncommon for the elder to deal with the younger by embracing him in a loving neck hold and dragging him off to the end of the house. I honestly think at times, that their rooms should reflect padded cells to minimise risk of damage and block the screams.
This growing interest in each other is not limited to inside the house either. It is common occurrence to walk outside to find two teenagers wrestling in the backyard. There is nothing like a little brotherly biff to clear the air. I am sure we are not the only family that takes on the role of spectators in a world of testosterone tantrums. We had hoped that the punching bag in the shed would be used for stress release. Unfortunately, the punching bag doesn't have the same appeal that hearing your sibling beg for mercy appears to have. At this rate we could invite the neighbours, charge admission and create a new sporting event.
The up side to this is that they are spending time together, even if it is while one son pins the other to the ground in an effort to expand his tastebuds. Communication between them has gone from grunting to recognisable words such as ‘stop’ and ‘get off’. This leads to hope that by the end of the year they will be back to putting full sentences together. As we move through these interesting, formative teenage years, it is all about togetherness.
Friday, October 1, 2010
A Battle of Wills
Parents of teenagers unite! For it is together that we can quell the uprising against education and see a change in the attitude towards study and achieving high grades. Well, it all sounds good in theory but in reality, is it a battle that can be won? Yes, I have a teenager. One who devotes very little time to homework or study. This child outlays more energy moving from the bedroom to the couch than they do towards schoolwork. Over the past week, I have vented my anger, I have said my piece and I have contacted teachers. However, at the end of the day, did I make any ground? Did I claw back even an inch of the enemy’s territory? Was it worth it?
Some would say it’s not worth the fight. Others say it is important to keep them focused and to push forward. However, this week I am showing the signs of battle fatigue. The fire is gone from the belly and I am just not in a position to jump over the trenches one more time and face the dreaded onslaught of words. I feel more like waving that white flag and accepting that while I believe in the importance of school, the child has a different view point.
I know that my child has the potential to excel and if only they could see that. From discussions with other parents, I know I am not alone. This is normal teenage behaviour. So who are we to push our child to study? We are parents. Parents who want our child to succeed and who can see that this child has the ability to achieve, if only they would try. We are parents who want the best for our child – just like our parents before us.
As the battle cry goes out, my parents must take shelter as they know how this battle will end. The likelihood of changing the mindset of a hormonal, full of attitude, I know everything teenager is remote. Life is about living, not school. School is a place to socialise, free of charge with periods of boredom scattered through the day.
So, perhaps I need to rethink the strategy. Maybe I need to take off the camouflage gear, put away the weapons of mass destruction and chill. While I still need to encourage my child to put effort into their education, I need to allow them to make their own mind up. Perhaps, just perhaps, the penny will drop before too long and they will recognise that effort equals reward. Time for a telegram (or in this case text) from the frontline to put a stop to the trench warfare - where’s the phone?
Some would say it’s not worth the fight. Others say it is important to keep them focused and to push forward. However, this week I am showing the signs of battle fatigue. The fire is gone from the belly and I am just not in a position to jump over the trenches one more time and face the dreaded onslaught of words. I feel more like waving that white flag and accepting that while I believe in the importance of school, the child has a different view point.
I know that my child has the potential to excel and if only they could see that. From discussions with other parents, I know I am not alone. This is normal teenage behaviour. So who are we to push our child to study? We are parents. Parents who want our child to succeed and who can see that this child has the ability to achieve, if only they would try. We are parents who want the best for our child – just like our parents before us.
As the battle cry goes out, my parents must take shelter as they know how this battle will end. The likelihood of changing the mindset of a hormonal, full of attitude, I know everything teenager is remote. Life is about living, not school. School is a place to socialise, free of charge with periods of boredom scattered through the day.
So, perhaps I need to rethink the strategy. Maybe I need to take off the camouflage gear, put away the weapons of mass destruction and chill. While I still need to encourage my child to put effort into their education, I need to allow them to make their own mind up. Perhaps, just perhaps, the penny will drop before too long and they will recognise that effort equals reward. Time for a telegram (or in this case text) from the frontline to put a stop to the trench warfare - where’s the phone?
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