It started with baked beans on the floor. I should have guessed then that all was not as it should be. A slip of hand, overcooked eggs and wham! That nice tomato sauce and bean mix plastered across the kitchen floor. The question should have been asked this morning of either to return to bed from which I came or to skip eight or nine hours and jump to 5pm. Mmmm, decisions! To rewind or fast forward that is the question.
I am weary. In the last 48 hours I have felt this dreaded flu starting to take hold. It has danced around for a few weeks now teasing me with the welcome sound of the nasal salute each morning and the sore throat. The men in the house have had their turn and now it appears to be mine. The housework continues to mount and I cannot face it. The in-tray in the office is now starting to compete with the Q1 building on the Gold Coast and I struggle to stay focused and interested in what lies before me. Meetings, phone calls and school holidays all beg for a moment of my time. Moments that I would rather spend curled up amongst fluffy doonas and a soft pillow. Why is it that everything seems to snowball at the same time. Why can't we have a easy to manage, one thing at a time lifestyle where we can think clearly, respond as necessary and move on.
There is one though who soldiered on regardless of the mounting pressures and weariness. He walked miles, spoke with many, cared to thousands and gave his time and energy so freely so that we could all benefit for generations to come. Christ then went on to pay the ultimate price. To be ridiculed and scorned by a world that did not understand (or chose not to) the grace, mercy and love that he came to share. He never turned away from the sick or poor instead he welcomed them. No matter the cost, no matter the price - the lowest of the low were worth his time.
Perhaps the actions of this one man is the inspiration that I need to continue on. To face the next few days with a postiive, don't give up, attitude. He didn't, instead he faced his battles head on, took charge and led his followers through those troubled times. He even stayed strong to the point of death and faced it with such incredible strength and courage knowing the pain that would lie ahead. He endured the agony of the cross so we could enjoy the glory of life thereafter. Suddenly my flu seems like nothing. My weariness may pass and I can choose to put my feet up but he found no rest in those last days. All I can say is thank you for an act of kindness and love that is so mind blowing that it is hard to comprehend that one man would do this for so many. Easter celebrates his life...may it be a celebration for you too.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
Friday, May 6, 2011
Dream Chaser
God must look down upon me some days shaking his head and wish he could grab me by the shoulders and say 'Wake up Girl". Have you ever had a dream that has followed you not just for days, but for years. I have and it has chased me for over 20 years. It has tempted, teased and tried my patience as I wait for the right opportunity to show itself. Will this dream ever become reality?
For me there is this desire to constantly want more than what I have. Recently this desire has returned and I am having trouble getting it out of my head. I think I have it solved, weigh up the pros and cons of the situation, make justifications and then try to feel settled about the decision. Inside there seems to be a little voice that I am having problems hearing. The voice of reason that tells me if I am on the right path. At the moment the voice seems faint or is it that I don't really want to listen to what it is saying?
I have been reading a book by Holly Wagner titled Warrior Chicks and in this book she talks about staying at your post (ouch - pinch number 1 and not what I wanted to hear.) I read my daily devotional to have the words "You have all that you want" standing out from the page (ouch - pinch number 2 and still not what I wanted to hear). This desire is so strong that I am struggling to make any decision. The old me would jump in boots and all, set unrealistic expectations about what I can cope with and then take on too much. This would be followed by collapsing in the corner in a year or two utterly exhausted. My family would bear the brunt of my stress levels and once again be wishing for a safe, exclusion zone that they could retreat to.
Sometimes we think we know what we want. Sometimes we pursue it so vigoriously that we lose sight of reality, surging forward so hard with a destroying, crushing force of a Category 5 cyclone in pursuit of dreams. It isn't always easy to appreciate what we already have. I read in a devotion recently that until we stop wanting what we don't have we cannot appreciate what we already do. These words hit home. I can take on so much however I fail to see what I already have, the gifts that I have already been given. I am blessed to have a loving husband and two gorgeous boys who I absolutely love. God has been gracious over the past few years, sparing us from devastating loss and providing so much for this family. So why do I even consider that I need more? It is time for my family to be the priority - not dream chasing. If they are the center of my world, then does it not make sense to keep things the way they are rather than throwing a grenade into the midst and be picking up pieces for years to come.
What I do need to do is to make sure that the one calling the shots is God. I need to feel in my heart that the decisions that I make line up with what God has planned for me. It means I need to listen harder for that small voice inside and block out the distractions and interference that is happening. I also need to be prepared to accept that my desires may not match up and that's okay for if I make the right decision, all will be good in the long term and that's a dream worth pursuing.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
For me there is this desire to constantly want more than what I have. Recently this desire has returned and I am having trouble getting it out of my head. I think I have it solved, weigh up the pros and cons of the situation, make justifications and then try to feel settled about the decision. Inside there seems to be a little voice that I am having problems hearing. The voice of reason that tells me if I am on the right path. At the moment the voice seems faint or is it that I don't really want to listen to what it is saying?
I have been reading a book by Holly Wagner titled Warrior Chicks and in this book she talks about staying at your post (ouch - pinch number 1 and not what I wanted to hear.) I read my daily devotional to have the words "You have all that you want" standing out from the page (ouch - pinch number 2 and still not what I wanted to hear). This desire is so strong that I am struggling to make any decision. The old me would jump in boots and all, set unrealistic expectations about what I can cope with and then take on too much. This would be followed by collapsing in the corner in a year or two utterly exhausted. My family would bear the brunt of my stress levels and once again be wishing for a safe, exclusion zone that they could retreat to.
Sometimes we think we know what we want. Sometimes we pursue it so vigoriously that we lose sight of reality, surging forward so hard with a destroying, crushing force of a Category 5 cyclone in pursuit of dreams. It isn't always easy to appreciate what we already have. I read in a devotion recently that until we stop wanting what we don't have we cannot appreciate what we already do. These words hit home. I can take on so much however I fail to see what I already have, the gifts that I have already been given. I am blessed to have a loving husband and two gorgeous boys who I absolutely love. God has been gracious over the past few years, sparing us from devastating loss and providing so much for this family. So why do I even consider that I need more? It is time for my family to be the priority - not dream chasing. If they are the center of my world, then does it not make sense to keep things the way they are rather than throwing a grenade into the midst and be picking up pieces for years to come.
What I do need to do is to make sure that the one calling the shots is God. I need to feel in my heart that the decisions that I make line up with what God has planned for me. It means I need to listen harder for that small voice inside and block out the distractions and interference that is happening. I also need to be prepared to accept that my desires may not match up and that's okay for if I make the right decision, all will be good in the long term and that's a dream worth pursuing.
With Love,
Lynnelle
www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au
Elephants on your chest
They're back - not quite as big as before but big enough to make it uncomfortable. I am talking about the elephants that sit on my chest. The heaviness that comes and goes even to the point where I feel the need for deeper breaths. These 'elephants' as I like to call them are an indicator to me that some chill time is in order. They can come from a range of issues that have built up, stresses of work to do, worries and anxieties.
I have struggled for the eight years with these elephants. In more recent years they are not appearing as often but when they do, I know it is a sign to chill. The last few weeks have been busy with work, demands from family, tiredness, worries about children and making decisions that potentially have a huge impact on my future and that of my family.
So what to do...I could
stop work and sit on the beach (that would be so nice about now)
withdraw from the world, close the blinds and refuse to come out
eat everything in the pantry
drink alcohol to numb the stress level back into control
Some years ago, I would have (and did) chose option number four. Each night after work I could consume 4-5 glasses of wine and feel that it had made no difference at all. While I would not say I was an alcoholic, I certainly could have been heading down that path if I didn't decide that there was a better course of action. The downside of choosing this option is the next day the problems and worries still exist - the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle.
The answer is none of the above. What I need to do is to get some perspective about life. It is so easy to get caught up in the worries that you have no control over, make a mountain out of a molehill and feel like the world is caving in.
So this time, I am going to take a more healthier approach. I will go back to my mantra that all will be fine for these worries and stresses are not mine to bear. They are God's. He knows what the next days, weeks and months hold. He knows the future and he controls it. Why should I be so worried about what may or may not happens that it affects me on an emotional and physical level. God only gives us what he knows we are capable of bearing and will gladly take the burden for us if we ask him too.
What is bothering you these days? Do you have some elephants that need to join a relocation program? Take the time now to let go and let God. You will feel so much better for doing so
I have struggled for the eight years with these elephants. In more recent years they are not appearing as often but when they do, I know it is a sign to chill. The last few weeks have been busy with work, demands from family, tiredness, worries about children and making decisions that potentially have a huge impact on my future and that of my family.
So what to do...I could
stop work and sit on the beach (that would be so nice about now)
withdraw from the world, close the blinds and refuse to come out
eat everything in the pantry
drink alcohol to numb the stress level back into control
Some years ago, I would have (and did) chose option number four. Each night after work I could consume 4-5 glasses of wine and feel that it had made no difference at all. While I would not say I was an alcoholic, I certainly could have been heading down that path if I didn't decide that there was a better course of action. The downside of choosing this option is the next day the problems and worries still exist - the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle.
The answer is none of the above. What I need to do is to get some perspective about life. It is so easy to get caught up in the worries that you have no control over, make a mountain out of a molehill and feel like the world is caving in.
So this time, I am going to take a more healthier approach. I will go back to my mantra that all will be fine for these worries and stresses are not mine to bear. They are God's. He knows what the next days, weeks and months hold. He knows the future and he controls it. Why should I be so worried about what may or may not happens that it affects me on an emotional and physical level. God only gives us what he knows we are capable of bearing and will gladly take the burden for us if we ask him too.
What is bothering you these days? Do you have some elephants that need to join a relocation program? Take the time now to let go and let God. You will feel so much better for doing so
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