Another Cup of Life Please

Every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best and with my ever faithful Nespresso machine, I select the level of caffeine hit required, heat up some milk, then sit back and enjoy the end result.

In life, it isn't quite as simple. We cannot select our life, we have opportunties but not always choices. We do not choose to have cancer, heart attacks, forced transfers or even disabilities. We can however choose how we deal with the events as they unfold.

I remember when my husband had a heart attack (he was only 43) - it certainly wasn't what he chose nor was it my choice, we had no control over the situation. It was one that we had to deal with, face the fear, trust the doctors, trust God more and wait. In that situation we could have chosen to crumble or rise to the challenge. As I waited during his surgery, I prayed and I cried. It was a time that I will never forget and there were many beautiful and emotional moments with my God as I relied on him like never before.

If we could just brew up the perfect life, I believe it would be one of weakness. How many of us would actually welcome adversity. Not many I suspect. Yes, life can be tough but from adversity comes growth and from challenge comes strength. Be they life changing moments or coping with changes in life - it all has purpose. The challenges and adversity are our 'caffeine hit' that bring the deepest parts of our being to life.

As another year comes to a close and new one starts, lets remember that in life we need strength. So instead of another half strength flat white, let's make it full strength. My prayer for you is that you embrace the challenge, discover new strengths and become resilient and confident no matter what comes your way in 2012.

Cheers,

Taking off the apron

Last night I had the joy of watching my eldest son strutt his stuff along the red carpet. After 12 years of schooling he has graduated! There was much celebration last night as the gorgeous girls and dashing young men took to the red carpet, received certificates, attempted to waltz and then kicked the shoes off for the after party!

As parents watching on it was a celebration with a huge sigh of relief. The journey over the past two years in particular has not been easy. Many tense moments, lost sleep, last minute madness to have the assessments in on time and the inevitable passing of exams.

Today, I am emotional as the reality of what lies ahead starts to take hold. This morning the tears have flowed somewhat unexpectedly - all I was doing was looking at the formal photos. After 18 years of nurturing, protecting, loving and at times pulling hair out, it is time to let go of the apron strings. It is time to take off the apron of action and let him find his own way.

Yes, we will continue to be here to guide and support him however, he is now at a point where he can make his own decisions and will have to live by those decisions be they good or bad. Like any parent those feelings of 'not just yet' are there and I am at times struggling to undo those apron strings.

I know that his future will be whatever he sets his mind to. He is capable and has so many options at his feet now. 2012 is going to be a year of excitement, change and opportunity and I will be encouraging him to grap hold and hang on for the ride of his life!

Sleeping with Fishes

Okay, now be honest. How many times have you deferred, objected and even tried to ignore that which you were asked to do. Some days procrastination is my best friend. She is there when my feet hit the floor. She follows me to my office. She sits beside me at my desk. She opens the fridge door and says 'the diet can start tomorrow'.

When it's not procrastination it is simply, "I don't want to do it". You know in your heart that you have to but if you could avoid it you will. Some of us close our eyes and think if we cannot see it, it really isn't there. Wouldn't that be easy if it was true.

In our lives we face many challenges and issues that if given the chance, we would gladly relinquish. Jonah was in the same predicament. He was given a direction from God and he chose to ignore it. He tried running away but ended up sleeping with the fishes. When he finally relinquished control and realised that he could not avoid what God had requested of him, he was able to set foot on dry land again.

If you feel that God is asking you to do something. That little voice inside that keeps chipping away at you, that doesn't give up, that whispers your name - then act on your conviction. It may not always be within your comfort zone but remember that no matter the request from God, he also equips you with everything you will need to achieve what he has asked of you.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Forgetting to Breathe

I don't know about you but I find there are times when life is so hectic, it is actually hard to get your breathe. Between the school run, groceries, work, cooking, cleaning and making lunches, it just doesn't seem to let up.

Some manage to juggle everything with ease (one would think we belong in the circus) however, for the rest of us we drop the balls. That was me earlier on in the week. I had a moment of weakness, a collapse in my spirit to keep going and was ready to hand over the reigns to someone else. So on Monday morning I decided to take it down a notch. Life shouldn't be like this. An unrealistic momentum that drags you along life's highway and making it impossible to enjoy the view.

What I did realise in all this is that somewhere along the way, I have forgotten how to breathe. How to relax, enjoy the moment and take those wonderful deep breathes that make us feel alive. I don't remember the last time I had the biggest belly laugh or really enjoyed some time out when the head wasn't racing ahead with what I should be doing.

So as I try to bring life back down a notch into the enjoyable realm, I need to find new ways to relax. It has taken a number of years to get to this point and I am sure that the 'Pantene Factor' will apply (it won't happen overnight but it will happen).

So share with me how you relax. What are the moments that make you laugh and smile? I would love to hear them!

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Hurricane Hormones

The storm was building last week with a weather forecast of bleak, touches of frustration, building to sever eruption on Sunday night. Saturday was a good indication it was getting close with the recommendation to family that they seek shelter. Take bread and water and bunker down for when it hits, it's not going to be pretty. Hurricane Hormones struck land around 7.30pm last night and the wave of destruction was instantly felt by those in the vacinity.

So what led to the impact? In the previous week, I had struggled with client meetings, trip to specialist, naturopath, doctor plus the usual school and home goodies. Throw in some extra concerns about health and you have the perfect storm. Last night came the eruption of a week of worry, frustration, angst and so much more. The tears poured after what felt like another struggle and I retreated to my bedroom saying I can't do this anymore. After a couple of minutes, I decided to head outside into the dark for some quiet time alone. As I sat outside looking at the moon, tear rolling down my cheeks, I asked God, "why?" I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be wound up and stressed - I have forgotten how to relax. The brain is always thinking of what I could, should, would, can and won't do.

Within a few minutes the moon disappeared and as I continued to sit there in the dark looking at the sky, a shadow appeared where the moon was. It was the outline of an angel. At the same time the song, "How can I keep from singing your praise" enters my head. It is then that I realise that I am not alone and that there is a peace to be found in amongst all this. This shadow was there for about 5 minutes or so and then slowly faded.

Today, is a new day. I must make changes within myself and find ways to relax and switch off. I don't have to save the world or build a global empire. I have to learn to let go, to say 'no' and let others find their own way without taking on their problems. It won't be easy but it is possible. So today, I am setting a new direction now that Hurricane Hormones has disappated into light rain. With help, the Hurricane will never reach the height that it did last night. With help, the Hurricanes will come and go but never tip the boat over again. With peace, the seas will remain calm and all will return to what they should be within myself.

If you have a hurricane heading your way, take a step back and make the changes you need to protect yourself and those you love. Sometimes its not easy to make the changes that are needed. I know for me, it is going to take effort and conscious decisions to change my mindset and refocus but it can be done because I am not the only one on the job. God is walking with me every step and I just have to let go and stay in the calm waters.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Little Magic Wings

There are times when I wish everything could magically be completed - the homework, the housework and even my work. Life is not about the happy ever after and if we strive to achieve this we are sure to fail. Life is not perfect, actually it is far from it.

Each day we wake up to a new day that can shift from good to bad with one sip of coffee. The photocopier jams, the kids have lost their socks, the dog ate the homework - the list of possibilities is endless. They can be tiny troubles to absolute heartache. Each moment tries us, tests us and in some cases can send us into a spin. Been there - felt it - survived!

So, where are my little magic wings? What happened to the fairy dust, the wand and my magic godmother? I am 43 and still waiting.As a child we heard fairytales that had our heads believing in fairies in the gardens and our handsome prince to come and sweep us off our feet. Reality is there are no fairies in the garden, just concrete gnomes and as for the handsome prince, there are only a select few who get to snag one of these!

So as I face today, I will deal with whatever comes and do my best to cope. No magic red shoes, no clicking of heals three times, no wand and no wings. I am not going to rely on my magic godmother to rescue me, just God. He knows what lies ahead today and I know that he will only give me what he knows I can handle.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Giants Knocking on the Door

I am feeling vulnerable, insecure and scared. There is a giant knocking on my door. Yet again he returns to feed on my fears and this time the focus is my health. In the past week or so, I have had some concerns that my body is changing (probably due to the start of menopause) however that doesn't stop it playing on my mind.

Fear has been my companion for the past forty years. It has walked beside me, told me I wasn't good enough, told me I cannot do that, held me back and has played a part in so many decisions that I have lost count. About 12 months ago, I decided enough was enough. It was time. Time to find a new companion and one that would lift me up and not bring me down. So I was determined to distance myself from this giant.

He's back and obviously there is a part of no that he doesn't understand. This giant is the one I find the hardest to shake. Once he gets back in the door, he twists thought patterns, plants doubt and makes mountains out of mole hills. So yesterday I spent some time in prayer and two words stood out - peace and protection. Last night as I went to sleep, I repeated these two words to myself as the anxiety was building and my body was beginning to shake.

There are many references in the bible to protection and peace. God has given his peace to us so there is no need to fear. However as a meer mortal that appears easier said than done. Over the past couple of years, I have leaned on God more than ever before as I dealt with some personal issues that sent me into a spin. In those times I prayed, sought refuge in his words and found peace. Once again, I need to reaffirm that this giant does not rule my life. He has no place here, no home and his foot is about to be jammed in a closing door.

If you are facing a giant, close the door. He can knock all he wants but don't let him in. Stand firm and seek the peace that only God can give in these challenging times. God never promised an easy ride and it is through these times that we grow stronger. For me, my challenge today is to close that door (and keep it closed), stay focused on was is good and true and believe that I have all I need - peace and protection.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Baked Beans on the Floor

It started with baked beans on the floor. I should have guessed then that all was not as it should be. A slip of hand, overcooked eggs and wham! That nice tomato sauce and bean mix plastered across the kitchen floor. The question should have been asked this morning of either to return to bed from which I came or to skip eight or nine hours and jump to 5pm. Mmmm, decisions! To rewind or fast forward that is the question.

I am weary. In the last 48 hours I have felt this dreaded flu starting to take hold. It has danced around for a few weeks now teasing me with the welcome sound of the nasal salute each morning and the sore throat. The men in the house have had their turn and now it appears to be mine. The housework continues to mount and I cannot face it. The in-tray in the office is now starting to compete with the Q1 building on the Gold Coast and I struggle to stay focused and interested in what lies before me. Meetings, phone calls and school holidays all beg for a moment of my time. Moments that I would rather spend curled up amongst fluffy doonas and a soft pillow. Why is it that everything seems to snowball at the same time. Why can't we have a easy to manage, one thing at a time lifestyle where we can think clearly, respond as necessary and move on.

There is one though who soldiered on regardless of the mounting pressures and weariness. He walked miles, spoke with many, cared to thousands and gave his time and energy so freely so that we could all benefit for generations to come. Christ then went on to pay the ultimate price. To be ridiculed and scorned by a world that did not understand (or chose not to) the grace, mercy and love that he came to share. He never turned away from the sick or poor instead he welcomed them. No matter the cost, no matter the price - the lowest of the low were worth his time.

Perhaps the actions of this one man is the inspiration that I need to continue on. To face the next few days with a postiive, don't give up, attitude. He didn't, instead he faced his battles head on, took charge and led his followers through those troubled times. He even stayed strong to the point of death and faced it with such incredible strength and courage knowing the pain that would lie ahead. He endured the agony of the cross so we could enjoy the glory of life thereafter. Suddenly my flu seems like nothing. My weariness may pass and I can choose to put my feet up but he found no rest in those last days. All I can say is thank you for an act of kindness and love that is so mind blowing that it is hard to comprehend that one man would do this for so many. Easter celebrates his life...may it be a celebration for you too.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Dream Chaser

God must look down upon me some days shaking his head and wish he could grab me by the shoulders and say 'Wake up Girl". Have you ever had a dream that has followed you not just for days, but for years. I have and it has chased me for over 20 years. It has tempted, teased and tried my patience as I wait for the right opportunity to show itself. Will this dream ever become reality?

For me there is this desire to constantly want more than what I have. Recently this desire has returned and I am having trouble getting it out of my head. I think I have it solved, weigh up the pros and cons of the situation, make justifications and then try to feel settled about the decision. Inside there seems to be a little voice that I am having problems hearing. The voice of reason that tells me if I am on the right path. At the moment the voice seems faint or is it that I don't really want to listen to what it is saying?

I have been reading a book by Holly Wagner titled Warrior Chicks and in this book she talks about staying at your post (ouch - pinch number 1 and not what I wanted to hear.) I read my daily devotional to have the words "You have all that you want" standing out from the page (ouch - pinch number 2 and still not what I wanted to hear). This desire is so strong that I am struggling to make any decision. The old me would jump in boots and all, set unrealistic expectations about what I can cope with and then take on too much. This would be followed by collapsing in the corner in a year or two utterly exhausted. My family would bear the brunt of my stress levels and once again be wishing for a safe, exclusion zone that they could retreat to.

Sometimes we think we know what we want. Sometimes we pursue it so vigoriously that we lose sight of reality, surging forward so hard with a destroying, crushing force of a Category 5 cyclone in pursuit of dreams. It isn't always easy to appreciate what we already have. I read in a devotion recently that until we stop wanting what we don't have we cannot appreciate what we already do. These words hit home. I can take on so much however I fail to see what I already have, the gifts that I have already been given. I am blessed to have a loving husband and two gorgeous boys who I absolutely love. God has been gracious over the past few years, sparing us from devastating loss and providing so much for this family. So why do I even consider that I need more? It is time for my family to be the priority - not dream chasing. If they are the center of my world, then does it not make sense to keep things the way they are rather than throwing a grenade into the midst and be picking up pieces for years to come.

What I do need to do is to make sure that the one calling the shots is God. I need to feel in my heart that the decisions that I make line up with what God has planned for me. It means I need to listen harder for that small voice inside and block out the distractions and interference that is happening. I also need to be prepared to accept that my desires may not match up and that's okay for if I make the right decision, all will be good in the long term and that's a dream worth pursuing.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Elephants on your chest

They're back - not quite as big as before but big enough to make it uncomfortable. I am talking about the elephants that sit on my chest. The heaviness that comes and goes even to the point where I feel the need for deeper breaths. These 'elephants' as I like to call them are an indicator to me that some chill time is in order. They can come from a range of issues that have built up, stresses of work to do, worries and anxieties.

I have struggled for the eight years with these elephants. In more recent years they are not appearing as often but when they do, I know it is a sign to chill. The last few weeks have been busy with work, demands from family, tiredness, worries about children and making decisions that potentially have a huge impact on my future and that of my family.

So what to do...I could

stop work and sit on the beach (that would be so nice about now)
withdraw from the world, close the blinds and refuse to come out
eat everything in the pantry
drink alcohol to numb the stress level back into control
Some years ago, I would have (and did) chose option number four. Each night after work I could consume 4-5 glasses of wine and feel that it had made no difference at all. While I would not say I was an alcoholic, I certainly could have been heading down that path if I didn't decide that there was a better course of action. The downside of choosing this option is the next day the problems and worries still exist - the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle.

The answer is none of the above. What I need to do is to get some perspective about life. It is so easy to get caught up in the worries that you have no control over, make a mountain out of a molehill and feel like the world is caving in.

So this time, I am going to take a more healthier approach. I will go back to my mantra that all will be fine for these worries and stresses are not mine to bear. They are God's. He knows what the next days, weeks and months hold. He knows the future and he controls it. Why should I be so worried about what may or may not happens that it affects me on an emotional and physical level. God only gives us what he knows we are capable of bearing and will gladly take the burden for us if we ask him too.

What is bothering you these days? Do you have some elephants that need to join a relocation program? Take the time now to let go and let God. You will feel so much better for doing so