No Coffee Required

Image: lipmag.com

For those that know me, it is probably a little obvious that I have come to enjoy a good cup of coffee.  Just a smidge, just a little, just a lot!

I blame my husband.  It's his fault.  He finally converted me around five years ago as he wanted someone to enjoy a coffee with - go figure?  It started off weak and it needed sweetening for it was so bitter to taste.  As the years have progressed so has my 'taste' for the almighty caffeine.  Now I have it strong and sugar is for the weak.   It is a welcome substance for days where simply getting your feet from bed to floor is a challenge. When opening your eyes, your mind says 'do it' but your body is still soaking up the rays on a beach in the mediterranean where Brad Pitt is serving you coffee and giving you a neck and shoulder massage.  

The past 24 hours have been eye opening for me - where an 'A-Ha' moment has surfaced.  Where I have gone from confusion to clarity - it is amazing! Recently, I committed myself to a journey that is truely identifying my deepest desires and direction for the future.  It is making me dig deep to get to know my inner self, my values, my secret ardent desire.

The more I understand myself, the more confident and capable I become.  It gives me freedom to be who God designed to be.  To believe that I can achieve greatness.  To pursue what makes me happy and to do with no regrets, no hangups, no limits!   I can see a high coming and it is not going to be from a caffeine fix.  It is an all natural one - no coffee required.  What I thought was my direction is quickly changing to a new one.  Not too far removed - with just a 'jump to the left and a step to the right', I am discovering and acknowledging where my heart leads.

I have found a straight talking woman who is leading me to find my authentic self. She pulls no punches and challenges me on my perfectionism, procrastination and limiting beliefs.  She gives me a kick in the derriere when I need it and tells me to push harder, dig deeper and do it with vigor.  My passion is unfolding, my dreams are becoming visions and my heart is once again climbing, no, rocketing skywards towards a place where I am 'high' on life itself.

What about you?  Are you stumbling around in the dark trying to find clarity for your direction.  Maybe it's the forties, mid-life crisis thing happening - although I am definately not at the point of tossing the hubby aside, buying a sports car and disappearing off into the sunset.  It is more about seeking a path that resonates on a deep level within me.

Join me as I unravel this new direction, take action and work with women who too are struggling to find their 'natural high'.  This is just the beginning.

Regards,

Learning to Fly Again

You lie battered and bruised on the ground.  One would think that you have been hit by a truck and then it reversed over you just to make sure.  Every piece of your self-worth and confidence are lying shattered in a million pieces around you.  Tears roll down your cheeks as the initial shock hits.  Those words were cruel, actions uncalled for and well, it came like a bolt out of the blue with no warning.  Just when you were feeling good about yourself, just when you were starting to make progress - BAM!

So where to from here?   You can sit silently in the shadows waiting for someone to come past and pick you up, tell you it will all be okay and help you on your feet.  Is that what you want?  Is that what you need?   I remember feeling so worthless and fearful that I kept the blinds closed for weeks and was quite happy never to have to face the outside world again.  I could have easily been deemed a recluse and stayed safely tucked away from that big, bad world.  It was only there to hurt and I had experienced quite enough at that stage.

Over the next weeks I worked through those feelings, and yes I talked out loud to myself often.  God didn't miss out either.  I screamed, I shouted, I cried as this gamet of emotions poured out and all the hurt, disappointment and pain revealed itself.  Then something happened.  I made a mental note that all must change if I want to move forward.  No more sulking like a child in the corner, no more 'woe is me' attitude.  I needed to mend these broken wings and learn to fly again.

As I look back now, I can see that from pain and heartache comes growth.  It is in these times that we discover more about ourselves than we ever could from a lifetime of pure happiness and perpetual smiling.  God does this for a reason.  He knows that if our days are forever bright and sunny, we won't challenge ourselves and will 'gloss over' the areas that need improvement.  It is about learning more about what makes us tick and finding strength that we never knew we had.  For me, learning to fly has taken time and I still fall out of the nest sometimes however, God is there to pick me back up, put me back in the nest and whispers quietly, 'try again'.

Are you ready to mend your wings?  Have you had enough of hiding away in the shadows of hurt and pain?  Do you want to fly?  Reach out to the one who made you and knows every part of you, every dream, desire and deep seeded hurt.  All you have to do is ask and then take the first step of faith.

Regards,

Chaos to calm....then chaos again

One day.  That is all I ask,  just one day.

One day when...

• smelly teenage boy socks find a new home and not one that is stuffed between the cushions on the lounge
• the cat recovers from dimentia and remembers that it was only fed 1 hour ago
• the freshly clean floor can not have something spilt on it immediately after drying
• that you can walk into the room of a teenage son and not be bowled over by the lingering smell that comes from body odour, dirty clothes and lunch from 3 months ago
• the washing and ironing is up-to-date and clothes baskets empty for longer than 10 minutes
• the toilet seat is closed and the toothpaste lid on when not in use
• a kitchen bench is rediscovered and is no longer the horizontal surface dumping ground for everything as you walk in the back door
• the array of shoes by the residing centrepedes are on a relocation program back into bedrooms and not at the back door
• the lost socks return and find their life partners

Yes, I know this is all a dream.  Every day, parents across the globe face these same challenges.  Challenge that at times are frought with danger - particularly where teenagers are involved!  Those little frustrations that seem to endlessly appear, continue to cause havoc and are at plague proportion.  It is at times chaos.

Then, in a moment of sheer amazement and wonder, it stops.  Calm arrives and life is grand.  The teenagers are out doing 'their thing',  hubby is curled up with a newspaper on the lounge and there is just a fleeting moment of sanity in the house when all can be.

Don't get too excited though for this will be short lived.  The cat will meow, the pungent odour from down the hallway will waft through like agent orange and the remaining socks will hold memorial services for their lost partners.

Soldier on my friend.  Pick up that sock, close that toilet seat, file that paper, wash that floor - again.   

As Mum's we take this in our stride every day, every week, every month, every year.  Yep, there are times when we rant and rave and even take a stand by going AWOL.  Sure enough though, we return to face it all again.  Mum's (and house Dad's) - raise your glasses and make a toast to that one day where all will be!

Regards,

Please pop over and follow my new blog... www.leadaninspiredlife.blogspot.com

See you on the other side!

Changing blog

If you want to see what I am up to lately.... pop over to:

http://leadaninspiredlife.blogspot.com/

Here you will find my latest ramblings

Cheers,
Lynnelle

Life is tough...it's not what you had thought it would be. You are angry, you are frustrated, you are unhappy in some part or maybe all of your life. Ask yourself why? What changed?? It wasn't always this hard. There had been years of easy times, not perfect, just easier. Remember back to when you had a smile to share and laughter filled your soul. When the pressures and challenges were manageable and less often. Those days are still there you just can't see them at the moment.

As we grow older, the challenges appear to be more frequent and stronger. We look back to years of youth thinking how wonderful they were and wishing that life was that simple once again. However, we can't live in the past what we have to deal with is the now. The now may be hard, it may hurt but you have the power to rise to the challenge and fight for what you want in this life. Perhaps a relationship is breaking down, perhaps the job is coming to an end, perhaps the kids are screaming and you wonder how on earth you ever ended up in this mess. These times just seem to happen and can come from what appears to be nowhere. It could be a sudden, unexpected change or it could be a series of little niggles that has turned into a festering, ugly situation where there appears to be no hope.

You are worth the fight. Your relationship is worth the fight. Your children are worth the fight. Stand up and claim the goodness that God has for you. The happiness that awaits you once again. Grab hold of what brings joy to your heart or a smile to your face. One moment, every day - remember it, claim it. Fight.

Fight against the mindset that we are fed continually or that negativity that has crept in over the years. No more will you let heartache, anger, sorrow, worry or frustration rule your life. Perhaps you and your attitude needs to change to find that peace again. Our mind can control our hearts and we have to ensure that we are being reasonable in our expectations, accept that we are not always right, we are human, we have faults and that it takes compromise and compassion.

No matter what you are facing today, there is hope. God has the power and the strength to see this one through, even when you don't. God doesn't want you to live a miserable life - he wants only the best for you however it is up to us to accept this, embrace it and run with that belief in our hearts.

Another Cup of Life Please

Every morning I enjoy a cup of coffee. The first one of the day is always the best and with my ever faithful Nespresso machine, I select the level of caffeine hit required, heat up some milk, then sit back and enjoy the end result.

In life, it isn't quite as simple. We cannot select our life, we have opportunties but not always choices. We do not choose to have cancer, heart attacks, forced transfers or even disabilities. We can however choose how we deal with the events as they unfold.

I remember when my husband had a heart attack (he was only 43) - it certainly wasn't what he chose nor was it my choice, we had no control over the situation. It was one that we had to deal with, face the fear, trust the doctors, trust God more and wait. In that situation we could have chosen to crumble or rise to the challenge. As I waited during his surgery, I prayed and I cried. It was a time that I will never forget and there were many beautiful and emotional moments with my God as I relied on him like never before.

If we could just brew up the perfect life, I believe it would be one of weakness. How many of us would actually welcome adversity. Not many I suspect. Yes, life can be tough but from adversity comes growth and from challenge comes strength. Be they life changing moments or coping with changes in life - it all has purpose. The challenges and adversity are our 'caffeine hit' that bring the deepest parts of our being to life.

As another year comes to a close and new one starts, lets remember that in life we need strength. So instead of another half strength flat white, let's make it full strength. My prayer for you is that you embrace the challenge, discover new strengths and become resilient and confident no matter what comes your way in 2012.

Cheers,

Taking off the apron

Last night I had the joy of watching my eldest son strutt his stuff along the red carpet. After 12 years of schooling he has graduated! There was much celebration last night as the gorgeous girls and dashing young men took to the red carpet, received certificates, attempted to waltz and then kicked the shoes off for the after party!

As parents watching on it was a celebration with a huge sigh of relief. The journey over the past two years in particular has not been easy. Many tense moments, lost sleep, last minute madness to have the assessments in on time and the inevitable passing of exams.

Today, I am emotional as the reality of what lies ahead starts to take hold. This morning the tears have flowed somewhat unexpectedly - all I was doing was looking at the formal photos. After 18 years of nurturing, protecting, loving and at times pulling hair out, it is time to let go of the apron strings. It is time to take off the apron of action and let him find his own way.

Yes, we will continue to be here to guide and support him however, he is now at a point where he can make his own decisions and will have to live by those decisions be they good or bad. Like any parent those feelings of 'not just yet' are there and I am at times struggling to undo those apron strings.

I know that his future will be whatever he sets his mind to. He is capable and has so many options at his feet now. 2012 is going to be a year of excitement, change and opportunity and I will be encouraging him to grap hold and hang on for the ride of his life!

Sleeping with Fishes

Okay, now be honest. How many times have you deferred, objected and even tried to ignore that which you were asked to do. Some days procrastination is my best friend. She is there when my feet hit the floor. She follows me to my office. She sits beside me at my desk. She opens the fridge door and says 'the diet can start tomorrow'.

When it's not procrastination it is simply, "I don't want to do it". You know in your heart that you have to but if you could avoid it you will. Some of us close our eyes and think if we cannot see it, it really isn't there. Wouldn't that be easy if it was true.

In our lives we face many challenges and issues that if given the chance, we would gladly relinquish. Jonah was in the same predicament. He was given a direction from God and he chose to ignore it. He tried running away but ended up sleeping with the fishes. When he finally relinquished control and realised that he could not avoid what God had requested of him, he was able to set foot on dry land again.

If you feel that God is asking you to do something. That little voice inside that keeps chipping away at you, that doesn't give up, that whispers your name - then act on your conviction. It may not always be within your comfort zone but remember that no matter the request from God, he also equips you with everything you will need to achieve what he has asked of you.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Forgetting to Breathe

I don't know about you but I find there are times when life is so hectic, it is actually hard to get your breathe. Between the school run, groceries, work, cooking, cleaning and making lunches, it just doesn't seem to let up.

Some manage to juggle everything with ease (one would think we belong in the circus) however, for the rest of us we drop the balls. That was me earlier on in the week. I had a moment of weakness, a collapse in my spirit to keep going and was ready to hand over the reigns to someone else. So on Monday morning I decided to take it down a notch. Life shouldn't be like this. An unrealistic momentum that drags you along life's highway and making it impossible to enjoy the view.

What I did realise in all this is that somewhere along the way, I have forgotten how to breathe. How to relax, enjoy the moment and take those wonderful deep breathes that make us feel alive. I don't remember the last time I had the biggest belly laugh or really enjoyed some time out when the head wasn't racing ahead with what I should be doing.

So as I try to bring life back down a notch into the enjoyable realm, I need to find new ways to relax. It has taken a number of years to get to this point and I am sure that the 'Pantene Factor' will apply (it won't happen overnight but it will happen).

So share with me how you relax. What are the moments that make you laugh and smile? I would love to hear them!

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Hurricane Hormones

The storm was building last week with a weather forecast of bleak, touches of frustration, building to sever eruption on Sunday night. Saturday was a good indication it was getting close with the recommendation to family that they seek shelter. Take bread and water and bunker down for when it hits, it's not going to be pretty. Hurricane Hormones struck land around 7.30pm last night and the wave of destruction was instantly felt by those in the vacinity.

So what led to the impact? In the previous week, I had struggled with client meetings, trip to specialist, naturopath, doctor plus the usual school and home goodies. Throw in some extra concerns about health and you have the perfect storm. Last night came the eruption of a week of worry, frustration, angst and so much more. The tears poured after what felt like another struggle and I retreated to my bedroom saying I can't do this anymore. After a couple of minutes, I decided to head outside into the dark for some quiet time alone. As I sat outside looking at the moon, tear rolling down my cheeks, I asked God, "why?" I don't want to be like this, I don't want to be wound up and stressed - I have forgotten how to relax. The brain is always thinking of what I could, should, would, can and won't do.

Within a few minutes the moon disappeared and as I continued to sit there in the dark looking at the sky, a shadow appeared where the moon was. It was the outline of an angel. At the same time the song, "How can I keep from singing your praise" enters my head. It is then that I realise that I am not alone and that there is a peace to be found in amongst all this. This shadow was there for about 5 minutes or so and then slowly faded.

Today, is a new day. I must make changes within myself and find ways to relax and switch off. I don't have to save the world or build a global empire. I have to learn to let go, to say 'no' and let others find their own way without taking on their problems. It won't be easy but it is possible. So today, I am setting a new direction now that Hurricane Hormones has disappated into light rain. With help, the Hurricane will never reach the height that it did last night. With help, the Hurricanes will come and go but never tip the boat over again. With peace, the seas will remain calm and all will return to what they should be within myself.

If you have a hurricane heading your way, take a step back and make the changes you need to protect yourself and those you love. Sometimes its not easy to make the changes that are needed. I know for me, it is going to take effort and conscious decisions to change my mindset and refocus but it can be done because I am not the only one on the job. God is walking with me every step and I just have to let go and stay in the calm waters.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Little Magic Wings

There are times when I wish everything could magically be completed - the homework, the housework and even my work. Life is not about the happy ever after and if we strive to achieve this we are sure to fail. Life is not perfect, actually it is far from it.

Each day we wake up to a new day that can shift from good to bad with one sip of coffee. The photocopier jams, the kids have lost their socks, the dog ate the homework - the list of possibilities is endless. They can be tiny troubles to absolute heartache. Each moment tries us, tests us and in some cases can send us into a spin. Been there - felt it - survived!

So, where are my little magic wings? What happened to the fairy dust, the wand and my magic godmother? I am 43 and still waiting.As a child we heard fairytales that had our heads believing in fairies in the gardens and our handsome prince to come and sweep us off our feet. Reality is there are no fairies in the garden, just concrete gnomes and as for the handsome prince, there are only a select few who get to snag one of these!

So as I face today, I will deal with whatever comes and do my best to cope. No magic red shoes, no clicking of heals three times, no wand and no wings. I am not going to rely on my magic godmother to rescue me, just God. He knows what lies ahead today and I know that he will only give me what he knows I can handle.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Giants Knocking on the Door

I am feeling vulnerable, insecure and scared. There is a giant knocking on my door. Yet again he returns to feed on my fears and this time the focus is my health. In the past week or so, I have had some concerns that my body is changing (probably due to the start of menopause) however that doesn't stop it playing on my mind.

Fear has been my companion for the past forty years. It has walked beside me, told me I wasn't good enough, told me I cannot do that, held me back and has played a part in so many decisions that I have lost count. About 12 months ago, I decided enough was enough. It was time. Time to find a new companion and one that would lift me up and not bring me down. So I was determined to distance myself from this giant.

He's back and obviously there is a part of no that he doesn't understand. This giant is the one I find the hardest to shake. Once he gets back in the door, he twists thought patterns, plants doubt and makes mountains out of mole hills. So yesterday I spent some time in prayer and two words stood out - peace and protection. Last night as I went to sleep, I repeated these two words to myself as the anxiety was building and my body was beginning to shake.

There are many references in the bible to protection and peace. God has given his peace to us so there is no need to fear. However as a meer mortal that appears easier said than done. Over the past couple of years, I have leaned on God more than ever before as I dealt with some personal issues that sent me into a spin. In those times I prayed, sought refuge in his words and found peace. Once again, I need to reaffirm that this giant does not rule my life. He has no place here, no home and his foot is about to be jammed in a closing door.

If you are facing a giant, close the door. He can knock all he wants but don't let him in. Stand firm and seek the peace that only God can give in these challenging times. God never promised an easy ride and it is through these times that we grow stronger. For me, my challenge today is to close that door (and keep it closed), stay focused on was is good and true and believe that I have all I need - peace and protection.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Baked Beans on the Floor

It started with baked beans on the floor. I should have guessed then that all was not as it should be. A slip of hand, overcooked eggs and wham! That nice tomato sauce and bean mix plastered across the kitchen floor. The question should have been asked this morning of either to return to bed from which I came or to skip eight or nine hours and jump to 5pm. Mmmm, decisions! To rewind or fast forward that is the question.

I am weary. In the last 48 hours I have felt this dreaded flu starting to take hold. It has danced around for a few weeks now teasing me with the welcome sound of the nasal salute each morning and the sore throat. The men in the house have had their turn and now it appears to be mine. The housework continues to mount and I cannot face it. The in-tray in the office is now starting to compete with the Q1 building on the Gold Coast and I struggle to stay focused and interested in what lies before me. Meetings, phone calls and school holidays all beg for a moment of my time. Moments that I would rather spend curled up amongst fluffy doonas and a soft pillow. Why is it that everything seems to snowball at the same time. Why can't we have a easy to manage, one thing at a time lifestyle where we can think clearly, respond as necessary and move on.

There is one though who soldiered on regardless of the mounting pressures and weariness. He walked miles, spoke with many, cared to thousands and gave his time and energy so freely so that we could all benefit for generations to come. Christ then went on to pay the ultimate price. To be ridiculed and scorned by a world that did not understand (or chose not to) the grace, mercy and love that he came to share. He never turned away from the sick or poor instead he welcomed them. No matter the cost, no matter the price - the lowest of the low were worth his time.

Perhaps the actions of this one man is the inspiration that I need to continue on. To face the next few days with a postiive, don't give up, attitude. He didn't, instead he faced his battles head on, took charge and led his followers through those troubled times. He even stayed strong to the point of death and faced it with such incredible strength and courage knowing the pain that would lie ahead. He endured the agony of the cross so we could enjoy the glory of life thereafter. Suddenly my flu seems like nothing. My weariness may pass and I can choose to put my feet up but he found no rest in those last days. All I can say is thank you for an act of kindness and love that is so mind blowing that it is hard to comprehend that one man would do this for so many. Easter celebrates his life...may it be a celebration for you too.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Dream Chaser

God must look down upon me some days shaking his head and wish he could grab me by the shoulders and say 'Wake up Girl". Have you ever had a dream that has followed you not just for days, but for years. I have and it has chased me for over 20 years. It has tempted, teased and tried my patience as I wait for the right opportunity to show itself. Will this dream ever become reality?

For me there is this desire to constantly want more than what I have. Recently this desire has returned and I am having trouble getting it out of my head. I think I have it solved, weigh up the pros and cons of the situation, make justifications and then try to feel settled about the decision. Inside there seems to be a little voice that I am having problems hearing. The voice of reason that tells me if I am on the right path. At the moment the voice seems faint or is it that I don't really want to listen to what it is saying?

I have been reading a book by Holly Wagner titled Warrior Chicks and in this book she talks about staying at your post (ouch - pinch number 1 and not what I wanted to hear.) I read my daily devotional to have the words "You have all that you want" standing out from the page (ouch - pinch number 2 and still not what I wanted to hear). This desire is so strong that I am struggling to make any decision. The old me would jump in boots and all, set unrealistic expectations about what I can cope with and then take on too much. This would be followed by collapsing in the corner in a year or two utterly exhausted. My family would bear the brunt of my stress levels and once again be wishing for a safe, exclusion zone that they could retreat to.

Sometimes we think we know what we want. Sometimes we pursue it so vigoriously that we lose sight of reality, surging forward so hard with a destroying, crushing force of a Category 5 cyclone in pursuit of dreams. It isn't always easy to appreciate what we already have. I read in a devotion recently that until we stop wanting what we don't have we cannot appreciate what we already do. These words hit home. I can take on so much however I fail to see what I already have, the gifts that I have already been given. I am blessed to have a loving husband and two gorgeous boys who I absolutely love. God has been gracious over the past few years, sparing us from devastating loss and providing so much for this family. So why do I even consider that I need more? It is time for my family to be the priority - not dream chasing. If they are the center of my world, then does it not make sense to keep things the way they are rather than throwing a grenade into the midst and be picking up pieces for years to come.

What I do need to do is to make sure that the one calling the shots is God. I need to feel in my heart that the decisions that I make line up with what God has planned for me. It means I need to listen harder for that small voice inside and block out the distractions and interference that is happening. I also need to be prepared to accept that my desires may not match up and that's okay for if I make the right decision, all will be good in the long term and that's a dream worth pursuing.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Elephants on your chest

They're back - not quite as big as before but big enough to make it uncomfortable. I am talking about the elephants that sit on my chest. The heaviness that comes and goes even to the point where I feel the need for deeper breaths. These 'elephants' as I like to call them are an indicator to me that some chill time is in order. They can come from a range of issues that have built up, stresses of work to do, worries and anxieties.

I have struggled for the eight years with these elephants. In more recent years they are not appearing as often but when they do, I know it is a sign to chill. The last few weeks have been busy with work, demands from family, tiredness, worries about children and making decisions that potentially have a huge impact on my future and that of my family.

So what to do...I could

stop work and sit on the beach (that would be so nice about now)
withdraw from the world, close the blinds and refuse to come out
eat everything in the pantry
drink alcohol to numb the stress level back into control
Some years ago, I would have (and did) chose option number four. Each night after work I could consume 4-5 glasses of wine and feel that it had made no difference at all. While I would not say I was an alcoholic, I certainly could have been heading down that path if I didn't decide that there was a better course of action. The downside of choosing this option is the next day the problems and worries still exist - the answer is not at the bottom of the bottle.

The answer is none of the above. What I need to do is to get some perspective about life. It is so easy to get caught up in the worries that you have no control over, make a mountain out of a molehill and feel like the world is caving in.

So this time, I am going to take a more healthier approach. I will go back to my mantra that all will be fine for these worries and stresses are not mine to bear. They are God's. He knows what the next days, weeks and months hold. He knows the future and he controls it. Why should I be so worried about what may or may not happens that it affects me on an emotional and physical level. God only gives us what he knows we are capable of bearing and will gladly take the burden for us if we ask him too.

What is bothering you these days? Do you have some elephants that need to join a relocation program? Take the time now to let go and let God. You will feel so much better for doing so

More than just specks on this earth

Have you ever asked the question ‘what on earth am I here for?’ Each week is a blur of taxi driving, whipping up meals, washing clothes around working ‘x’ number of hours each day. One must ask if life was meant to be more than this typical humdrum that fills the hours in the day.

I stood out in the backyard the other night looking skyward. The universe is far greater than just what I can see from my backyard. As the year goes on the view changes, constellations pass overhead as skies put on a magnificent nightly display. Nothing is by chance, not even one of the stars. Each was created, crafted and placed where it is for a purpose. Life expectancy may be limited with some stars burning out and disappearing sooner than others. What about me? Am I just destined to burn out and disappear? When I go will anyone remember me or will I just be yet another person on this earth that arrived, lived and died? I am determined to be more. I may not change the world and I may die with dishpan hands but believe it or not, it won’t be in vain.

My goal is to leave a legacy to my children. To leave them with more than just memories of a mum who picked, packed and washed up. I want to leave them with the most important lesson of all - that there is more to life than meets the eye. Each of us has a journey to fulfil and whether we go on to find fame and fortune, or just live our lives from our own backyard.

Life can be an exciting journey however for me, I have found life to be sweeter when I let God take control. As much as I think I know what I want, he knows better and he does a far better job at the helm than I do. If it was left to me I would be stuck on a roundabout going around and around, trying to work out which exit to take. In the meantime, the stresses of life and general chaos would be overtaking me and I would be struggling to stay sane.

What I have learn't is that we are more than just specks on this earth and we have a choice to either make this life a life worth remembering or just to burn out and leave nothing behind. Following God doesn’t mean that we are exempt from tough times. What faith does give is a peace through those times and a comfort in knowing that someone higher up the food chain has this covered. The voyage can still be rough and then there are times when we seem to sail through but regardless, it is a ride worth hanging on for.

So as I aim to find the purpose for my life, I encourage you to do some soul searching too. Perhaps there is a magnificent adventure that is waiting for you. Perhaps you are already there. Whatever the future holds, it should be one that we look forward to with the aim of leaving something behind for others and not being just a speck that walked on the earth.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Relationship Road

Do you remember your first romance? How the tide of emotions swept you up, you floated around on a high completely besotted with the one you thought you loved only to be dumped like a sack of potatoes which left you wondering what on earth had happened? Welcome to Relationship Road.

As parents we find ourselves in the same position as our parents did some twenty plus years ago. Our children are standing at the bottom of sweetheart hill and looking upwards towards the dream of a perfect relationship. One son has started the journey and it has been an uphill one for him to say the least. The climb has come as more of an emotional rollercoaster as he breezes up the hill only to be sideswiped by an out of control mini-bus that is plummeting at rapid speed back to the bottom. As he slowly gets back to his feet, we bandaid up the broken heart only to see him set off once again with stars in his eyes as yet another teenage girl cruises by, stopping to chat and offer him a shortcut to the summit.

From the outside looking in, it is obvious that the relationships are destined to fail. The expectations are unrealistic. The chances of forming a long term relationship at the age of sixteen are unlikely and the truth is that the fickle nature of teenagers will see relationships change faster than the speed of light. Within the blink of an eye the relationship will go from elation to devastation and there sitting on the side of Relationship Road, all battered and bruised, your child will dial home for you to come and collect them.

To help parents survive Relationship Road, I have prepared five tips -
1. If the relationship lasts more than 7 days, it is doing well
2. There will be more drama than in a television series
3. Prepare for more credit requests as texting will exceed 50 texts per day
4. Extracting information will be like having a tooth pulled
5. The shattered pieces will be spread across the house, the yard, the street and across town and you will pick them up

In preparation for the next Relationship Road tragedy, I have purchased a bulk buy on tissues, local emergency response crew is on alert, have registered for roadside assistance and all informants have been paid in advance. Perhaps this time, we can minimise the damage and reduce the road toll.

With Love,
Lynnelle

www.5smallstones.com.au
lynnelle@5smallstones.com.au

Testosterone Tantrums

I look back at those early years and realise that the terrible twos were nothing compared to testosterone filled teenage boys. The moods and the 'I know it all attitude', are an essential part of teenage development, or so I am led to believe. Our elder son rises and greets each day with the obligatory grunt. Apparently, when children become teenagers they no longer need to communicate in English. For parents, the 'little book of grunt' would provide translation for the 'good morning' grunt from the 'don't look at me' grunt. On top of this, comes the 'feed me', 'why should I shower' and 'get off my case' grunts. No wonder, raising teenagers sees many parents seeking solitude as they try to live with and interpret teenage attitude. Teenage development involves regression back to two years of age as their vocabulary becomes limited to one syllable words. We can only hope that their vocabulary increases as quickly as the testosterone does in their bodies.

I have also noticed a definite increase in the interaction between the boys. Our household regularly reverberates with the 'that's hurting' cry from the younger son as the elder obviously has adopted one of the many World Wrestling Federation moves. It is not uncommon for the elder to deal with the younger by embracing him in a loving neck hold and dragging him off to the end of the house. I honestly think at times, that their rooms should reflect padded cells to minimise risk of damage and block the screams.

This growing interest in each other is not limited to inside the house either. It is common occurrence to walk outside to find two teenagers wrestling in the backyard. There is nothing like a little brotherly biff to clear the air. I am sure we are not the only family that takes on the role of spectators in a world of testosterone tantrums. We had hoped that the punching bag in the shed would be used for stress release. Unfortunately, the punching bag doesn't have the same appeal that hearing your sibling beg for mercy appears to have. At this rate we could invite the neighbours, charge admission and create a new sporting event.

The up side to this is that they are spending time together, even if it is while one son pins the other to the ground in an effort to expand his tastebuds. Communication between them has gone from grunting to recognisable words such as ‘stop’ and ‘get off’. This leads to hope that by the end of the year they will be back to putting full sentences together. As we move through these interesting, formative teenage years, it is all about togetherness.

A Battle of Wills

Parents of teenagers unite! For it is together that we can quell the uprising against education and see a change in the attitude towards study and achieving high grades. Well, it all sounds good in theory but in reality, is it a battle that can be won? Yes, I have a teenager. One who devotes very little time to homework or study. This child outlays more energy moving from the bedroom to the couch than they do towards schoolwork. Over the past week, I have vented my anger, I have said my piece and I have contacted teachers. However, at the end of the day, did I make any ground? Did I claw back even an inch of the enemy’s territory? Was it worth it?

Some would say it’s not worth the fight. Others say it is important to keep them focused and to push forward. However, this week I am showing the signs of battle fatigue. The fire is gone from the belly and I am just not in a position to jump over the trenches one more time and face the dreaded onslaught of words. I feel more like waving that white flag and accepting that while I believe in the importance of school, the child has a different view point.

I know that my child has the potential to excel and if only they could see that. From discussions with other parents, I know I am not alone. This is normal teenage behaviour. So who are we to push our child to study? We are parents. Parents who want our child to succeed and who can see that this child has the ability to achieve, if only they would try. We are parents who want the best for our child – just like our parents before us.

As the battle cry goes out, my parents must take shelter as they know how this battle will end. The likelihood of changing the mindset of a hormonal, full of attitude, I know everything teenager is remote. Life is about living, not school. School is a place to socialise, free of charge with periods of boredom scattered through the day.

So, perhaps I need to rethink the strategy. Maybe I need to take off the camouflage gear, put away the weapons of mass destruction and chill. While I still need to encourage my child to put effort into their education, I need to allow them to make their own mind up. Perhaps, just perhaps, the penny will drop before too long and they will recognise that effort equals reward. Time for a telegram (or in this case text) from the frontline to put a stop to the trench warfare - where’s the phone?